Itachi's Headache
by Ghost of a Traitor
Summary: Itachi's got a headache, Tobi suggests Tylenol. Deidara's camera goes missing, Hidan is cursing at them for making so much noise. Zetsu tries to eat Tobi, and Pein sends the lot of them to Wal-Mart. Immplied pairings. rated for language and shounen-ai.


All was quiet in the Akatsuki hideout

**Ghost: this is something totally random. **

**Tobi: You're ALWAYS random! **

**Ghost: thank you so much…**

**Tobi: Oh no!! Tobi didn't mean to hurt your feelings!! Tobi's sorry!! –breaks out into tears- **

**Ghost: No, Tobi didn't do anything! I was being sarcastic! It was a joke!**

**Tobi: YAYZ!! –jumps up and hugs Ghost- TOBI'S HAPPY!! **

**Ghost: Yay. **

**Itachi: -walks in randomly- How touching. –mutters- Not. Anyway, here's chapter one. Enjoy it. **

**/**

All was quiet in the Akatsuki hideout. Everything seemed to be in order, and there was no indication that anyone was there. At least that's what it WAS, until…

"What the hell's wrong with you?!"

"Me?! What the hell's wrong with _you_?!"

"Nothing is wrong with me, thank you very much!"

"You have mental issues, you fucking idiot!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do NOT!!"

Amongst this arguing sat Itachi Uchiha, who was trying his best to ignore the idiots who had come arguing into the kitchen while he was eating his breakfast and watching Sesame Street on the television that his partner, Kisame, and Zetsu had insisted they get (with much arguing from Kakuzu; the organization's source of money).

Now he turned his attention to the red head and white-haired man who were arguing by the refrigerator. He was trying to keep calm and not kill them both, as it wouldn't be very hard to do so, but seemed to be failing miserably because he suddenly stood up, ready to blow steam at them.

"Shut the hell up!!" he demanded.

The other two looked at him. There were a few minutes of silence, then the red-head-Sasori-turned, screamed, and ran out the door. Hidan, the white-haired man, went chasing after him, yelling something that sounded like 'I'm not done with you, fucking bitch!'

Itachi sighed and sat down. He finished eating and put the bowl away, then headed up to his room.

And on his way up, who should he find but the nuisance Tobi. The black haired boy smiled at Itachi as he passed, as Leader had banded him from wearing his mask T.T. "Hello, Itachi-san!"

"Hn."

"Do you have a headache or something, Itachi-san?" Tobi asked.

"…Yes,"

"Oh." Tobi frowned. "…Well, maybe you could talk to Deidara-sempai?"

"…Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because he's been getting headaches."

"How does that help _me_?"

"Well, maybe he has some of those pill thingys-Ty something-that are always being advertised on T.V."

"Tylenol, you mean…?"

"Yeah!"

Itachi paused a moment. He turned around and faced Tobi. "But has he been complaining recently? If he has, he still has the headache and doesn't have any sort of working medicine."

"Um…I don't _think_ so..."

"…Fine. I'll talk to him about it later."

"I can take you to his room, if you want." Tobi suggested.

Before Itachi could protest, Tobi grabbed his hand and drug him down the hallway. He tried to pull away, but Tobi's grip on his fingers was too tight to get out of. They wound around hallways and past doors. The lights dimly lit the corridors in the gloomy atmosphere of the Akatsuki hideout. As Tobi slowed down, faint music reached Itachi's well-trained ears. He smirked faintly as a few words reached his ears. Tobi knocked on the door Itachi knew the music was coming from behind. There was some clanging and what sounded like stacking of boxes through the door over the music. "Deidara-sempai! I'm coming in!" Tobi called. He opened the door and both black-haired boys were met with the sight of Deidara standing on a ladder across the room, holding some things (A/N: without his Akatsuki cloak on, FYI). At the sudden appearance of Tobi and Itachi, he let out a shocked cry and fell backwards from the ladder.

In the next instant, Itachi shot forward and jumped onto the bed, crouching down as Deidara crashed down onto his chest. He caught himself from falling backwards flat onto his back at the sudden weight put into his arms. Tobi sighed loudly and let out a low whistle of approval, then said, "Nice one, Itachi-san! Deidara-sempai almost lost his head from that fall!"

The Uchiha ignored him and looked down at Deidara. "What were you doing up there? You should have asked someone to stay in here in case you did fall." He said as if scolding a little kid. "You were lucky me and Tobi came here when we did. Are you okay?"

Deidara blushed a bright pink and bit his lip. "Sorry, 'Tachi-kun." Itachi made a face at the name Deidara had called him. "Yeah, I'm fine, un. I was trying to organize my stuff up there." He pointed to the shelf in his closet.

Itachi helped Deidara stand up. The blonde turned to him and smiled apologetically and thankfully. Tobi watched the two with amusement and mischief dancing through his eyes. He smirked and snickered to himself. Itachi looked at him. "…Care to tell us what you find so amusing?"

"No, not really." Tobi said happily, turning away with a far-off look on his face. "Deidara-sempai, Itachi-san was coming to get some Tylenol from you if you have any. He said he has a headache."

Deidara, who had looked at Tobi, turned back to Itachi and frowned in thought. "You do look kinda pale, yeah. Not that you aren't pale anyway, but …maybe you have a fever or something, un. You _have _been pushing yourself a lot lately." He laughed faintly as he stepped closer to the raven-haired man and raised a hand to his forehead, noting his forehead protector wasn't there. He flinched when his cold fingers made contact with the flesh. "Shit, you're hot." He said, frowning in thought.

Tobi laughed, turning back to face them with his arms over his chest and his eyes closed, a huge smile over his face. "Itachi-san _is _pretty hot, isn't he, Deidara-sempai?" The black-haired boy said, obviously trying to get under their skin and get a rise out of them.

Deidara's face flushed noticeably a light red and he stiffened. "Th-that's not what I meant!!" He screamed at Tobi, pulling his fingers away from Itachi's forehead.

"Uh-huh, _sure_." Tobi smirked, giving Deidara a side-glance through narrowed eyes as he turned his face away.

"It's not!! I meant his forehead is really hot!! As in-like-temperature!!" Deidara protested.

Itachi sweat dropped. _Idiots._ He thought. "Tobi, if Deidara says it's not true, then-"

Suddenly said black-haired boy was standing half behind Itachi and half beside him with his left arm around the older man's shoulders , hugging him to his chest. "Admit it, Deidara-sempai!! You love Itachi-san!!" the boy taunted.

"Do _not_!!"

"Yes you do!!"

Deidara growled and launched himself at Tobi, who pushed Itachi off of him and jumped of the bed as the blonde and Uchiha collided together. Which resulted in Itachi going backwards and falling onto his side with his legs partially bent up, and Deidara's head ending up in the juncture between his stomach and legs (which was, basically, his crotch :P I dunno how that works really, but w/e). From the other side of the bed, Tobi observed their position with amusement before both of the missing nins on the bed heard Tobi call out, "Smile, you two!" which caused them both to turn to look at the youngest of the trio, resulting in them seeing a flash and hearing a beep before the door opened then closed as Tobi ran out.

"Dammit!" Deidara cursed, scrambling up, his face red down to above his lips. He went over to his dresser and opened the top drawer. Yep. Just as he suspected. "He got my camera, yeah!"

Itachi calmly went over and stood behind the blonde. "So he's probably going to show everyone." Deidara jumped when he realized Itachi was standing behind him. He turned around slowly, then slid sideways so there was about a foot between them. Itachi observed this action with a slightly curious expression. He stepped sideways so he was in front of Deidara again, who slide back where Itachi had been. With his ninja speed, Itachi appeared behind the blonde and whispered in his ear, "I'm beginning to think Tobi might have been right, ne, Deidara…?"

Deidara jumped in surprise when he felt Itachi's breath on his ear. "Wh-why the hell would he be?!" Deidara demanded, spinning around and backing up a few steps to put some distance between them. He shot a challenging glare to the smirking Uchiha. "And what the hell do you find so funny, yeah?!"

"Nothing." Itachi replied. He took three slow steps towards the ex-Iwagakure nin. Deidara stepped backwards until he ran into the foot of his bed.

"Then why are you smiling, yeah?!" he sat on the edge of his bed, glaring up at Itachi with murderous intent.

"Because it's amusing to watch you stutter." Itachi replied smugly. He held out a hand to Deidara. "Come on. If we're gonna get that picture from Tobi we need to hurry up."

Deidara narrowed his eyes, then sighed and took the hand offered to him.

/

Ghost: Is done!

Tobi: Yayz.

Ghost: ...(grabs MP3 and starts listening to it) Hee hee. Imma listen to this. See ya next chapter ! please review if you want me to continue! Oh, and sorry if you don't like the implied (?) ItaDei. Too bad. JK.


End file.
